A Game of Spoons
by TheMarvelousAsgardian
Summary: The Avengers play Spoons, which involves a LOT of chaos and smashing of things. You should probably know how to play before reading this, because I don't explain how.


The Avengers sat around a small oak table, stone faced, with steel in their eyes. It was Tuesday, the most dreaded night of all for Earth's mightiest heroes. Family Game Night. Director Nickolas Fury strode into the room at positioned himself at the center front. Eight grim pairs of eyes followed him, awaiting a verdict.

"Tonight's game," he slowly announced. "Is 'Spoons'."

The Avengers all started talking at once.

"This simple game is an insult to my intellect," said Tony.

"I think this game might make me angry…" said Bruce.

"This game is dumb," said Natasha.

"I concur," said Clint.

"I don't know how to play," said Steve.

"I do not yet grasp the workings of this activity," said Thor.

"I dunno 'ow to do zis," said Pietro.

"I 'ave to use ze restroom…" said Wanda.

"SILENCE!" Fury shouted. "I WILL EXPLAIN! YOU WILL PLAY! AND YOU WILL LIKE IT! NO EXCUSES!"

"But I really 'ave to –" started Wanda, until Fury cut her off with a death glare, and began passing out cards as he explained how to play. Finally, he arranged seven spoons in a circle at the center of the table and placed the remainder of the deck next to Tony.

"You may begin."

Tony began passing cards as quick as he could in order to get this stupid game over with as quickly as possible. Quicksilver, right next to him, was passing really fast too, although that wasn't really something he could help, which created a backlog of cards, considering no one could pass them along faster than he could.

After 12 minutes, Tony, being the superior intellect (according the most reliable source he could think of: himself) had finally reached four matching cards and triumphantly snatched a spoon.

"Aha! I am the greatest! Bow before my amazing skills at this–" and then was silenced as a spoon flew across the table and smacked him in the nose. Pietro had been the second to grab a spoon (for obvious reasons) and then had proceeded to zip out of the room in order to protect his prize.

The remaining Avengers had lunged across the table for the remaining spoons.

Steve and Bruce both made contact with the same spoon, sending it flying into Tony's nose. The now sore and very angry Tony jumped back into the fray.

Bruce got so worked up that he Hulked out, smashed the table, grabbed a spoon, and smashed a bunch of walls on his way out of the building. There was a momentary pause as the six left watched him go, and then the fight continued in full force.

Steve was running around, thumping people on the head, and screaming, "AMERICA!"

Clint and Natasha were working as a tag team, assailing Thor, who had grabbed a spoon that had begun to crackle with lightning.

Wanda, who really had no idea what was going on up until this point (she had just been passing cards around because everyone else was doing it…) had finally realized the objective, and was using her powers to send spoons flying around the room and into other people. Unfortunately, Wanda had also been taking accuracy lessons from Clint, and one of her magic spoons knocked him in the forehead, sending him crumpling to the ground.

Tony, from across the room –apparently forgetting that he already had a spoon - gave a mighty "HIYA!" as he hurled himself at Steve, who had grabbed the spoon from Clint's unconscious form and was standing at the back of the room holding it proudly. The team leaders fell on the floor in combat.

Pietro, realizing no one was joining him out in the hall, peeked back into the room to find Wanda aggressively singing the Sokovian national anthem as she flew spoons at people, Natasha chasing after Thor and his supercharged spoon as he ran around the room in terror, Clint out on the floor mumbling something about shwarma, and Steve and Tony having Civil War in the back corner.

The table had also been smashed to pieces, cards were scattered everywhere, and there were giant holes in the wall, courtesy of the Hulk.

Right at that moment, Natasha jumped in the air, made contact with Thor's sparking spoon, and sent it out of his hands and handle-first into an electrical socket. The entire building was short circuited and the power went out, dousing the Avengers in pitch-darkness.

Which was when Bruce, who had calmed back down, stumbled into the room through the giant Hulk-holes in the wall he had made earlier, still clutching his mangled spoon. With all of the Avengers reassembled, Nick Fury walked through the door as the backup power came on.

"Well, it seems like Clint is the only one left without a spoon, so he's out, and the remaining seven of you can start another round!"

Wanda just glared at him, shot a spoon at his forehead, and the Director joined Clint on the floor. The remaining Avengers, each holding a spoon and sporting various injuries, maneuvered around the wreckage, exited the room, and went out for shwarma.


End file.
